You just never know you you will meet!

A young friend of mine named Annie, asked me recently if I thought it was sadder to lose a pet dog or a pet crab. I told her that I thought it is incredibly sad any time something dies. She seemed relieved. I knew she had pet hermit crabs and suspected one of them had died. After this conversation, I started to think about how you talk to children about death. What can you say? A friend of mine with cancer recently said to me, "bodies wear out and this is how my body is wearing out." Bodies do wear out. Crab bodies included.

I believe dealing with death is like watching the leaves die on the trees at the end of summer and then fall from the trees to the ground. We are sad that summer is over. We will miss the warm feeling of the sun, but it is time for a rest. The leaves die and fall to the ground to nourish the tree while it rests in the winter. In the spring new leaves always come back. The crab dies so its soul can rest a while until it is time for the soul to live again as another crab, or a heron, or maybe a person. Who knows? It makes me feel better to know that all energy including life energy never dies, not ever. So my dear friend Annie, your crab is still with us, her soul is just resting. Be sure to be kind to all creatures, you never know when you are saying hello to your crab's soul wearing another body like, I do not know, hummmm....a squirrel!

To sled or not to sled

Another snow day. Well, that's ok. Hummm.. What to do with the kiddies?? I cannot spend endless hours on the computer trying to edit my blog layout to add the perfect music. At least, I cannot spend another hour doing this. The kids want to go to the only hill within miles of us to go sledding. Sounds great right!! Problem! It is cooold. 14 degrees. I am a wimp when it comes to cold.

My kids do not feel cold. A 50 degree day is perfect weather to get in the water for these kids. The other day I posted pictures of some of my brood in our backyard in the creek. They went out to play and I watched them inch closer and closer to the water's edge. They could not resist. I snuck-up on them and caught them with my camera. Then Caroline decided to get a picture of me, "the fun sucker" making them take their blue toes out of the water in February. I am sooo mean! Caroline gave me this name last summer. She said that I just always "suck the fun out of everything. You are a funsucker." And everyone thought it was sooo funny that the name stuck. Well, I say someone has to be the grown up around here! I tell Caroline not to worry, one day in about 30 years she will get to be the funsucker as well. Ohh the power! She is sure that will never happen. We'll see!

To sled or not to sled. What to do....

Snow Day!

We finally have a snow day! We are snowed in! Hooray!

Help! Cat Stuck in Hair!

So, okay once a cat got stuck in my hair. Really. I was sitting waiting for my daughter, while she was having her guitar lesson. My daughter's guitar lesson is at the teacher's house, which is also his art/music studio, so it has this cool funky vibe there. He has several of his paintings, sculptures and Cd's displayed. He is yet to be discovered, but really cool. So I am sitting there feeling cool myself, you know. Reading my book. Then one of his two cats comes over to do the usual sniff test. These are the crazy kind of cats that act like they like you, but if you try to touch them they nip! Well, today I pass the sniff test. I do not know if this is a good thing or a bad thing at this point. On that particular day I took it as a complement. Oh the cat likes me!

So, he is starts sniffing and rubbing his cheeks on my boots. He rolls on his back like he wants a belly rub. Well, I do not fall for that familiar trap! I ignore him. Well, in cat speak this means, I will have her!!! So he jumps up on the window sill behind me and starts to sniff my ear, neck and hair. I must admit I am sort of enjoying this. I know, I am weird. He then gets really interested in my hair. Now, I have this crazy, curly huge mop of hair. Not all of my life, it is just middle-age's gift to me. At forty, my nice wavy hair got a wild hair up it's ass, so to speak and just went berserk. This head of mine apparently is a cat's dream.

I am just sitting there freakishly enjoying this attention from the cat. Feeling pretty cool, absorbing the artistic energy here and then cat gets his paw stuck in my hair. We both kind of look at each other. Neither one of us knows what to do. We are both embarrassed. I am afraid to touch the cat because I know he will bite me and he is just a little tooo close to my neck and ear!!! So for some reason, he decides to put his other paw in my head. Great!!! We look like some weird politically correct version of Tar Baby. I am mortified that my daughter's teacher might see what is going on out in his waiting area, but also sure that someone is going to be injured severely without assistance asap. Luckily, just as quickly as the cat got himself stuck in my hair he bites my scalp and gets himself free. What was the bite all about!!! The cat was mad at me! Maybe I enjoyed that neck and ear sniff just a little too much!

Today is a beautiful blustery spring-like surprise!

Be careful what you wish for!

Ugggghh! I am trying to pack up my kitchen. It is so overwhelming. I wanted to remodel the kitchen. What was I thinking?? I live in my kitchen. I spend most of everyday in here. Baking cookies, making lunches, making tea, doing laundry, cooking, eating, looking out of the window at the pond watching the seasons pass, feeding pets, making lists, washing dishes the usual stuff. I hated this kitchen when we moved into my husbands childhood home last year. I missed my old kitchen with it's big table; ample working space; metal door covered with my children's art work and our calendar, the open space. This new small L shaped kitchen with no where for a table, no work space, the washing machine and dryer focal point, the free standing microwave oven cabinet with trashcan stored underneath (yum)...had to go! Now!

But here I am a year later and I am reluctant to disrupt my life for something new. I have adapted to this new space. I do not love the kitchen, but I use it! I have put the contractor, John, off for a week and now one more day. I just started packing yesterday and I have so much more to do. They are coming tomorrow at 8:00 am to demolish everything. Yikes! My sweet kitty eats on top of the dryer so the dogs cannot get her food. Where will I put her food? I have tried to turn the dining room into a makeshift kitchen, pantry, office area. It is going to be crazy! John, the contractor, says he should be done in about two weeks. Well he said one week for our foyer remodel he did in December and it took one month!

I guess I really have to be careful what I wish for because here it is and I am second guessing myself. Do I really need this? No! We could have gone on with the old kitchen and been just fine. My hippie girl inside feels guilty for the waste and that we cannot afford a totally "green" makeover. My peaceful, private girl is not looking forward to workers coming and going in my house. All the noise! Well, I am getting what I asked for tomorrow. Here goes. I hope in, I don't know maybe, three months when the kitchen is done I will write the most joyous post, praising my new kitchen. Describing all of the reasons why I am soooo glad I put my family through this.

"Do you realize that you have the most beautiful face?"

I took a picture of Terryn taking a picture.

A letter to my friend Terryn, who was recently diagnosed with cancer.

Hi Terryn,

I have wanted to write you for months. I have shopped for cards and started this letter so many times. The cards seem so sentimental and my letters seem so self-serving. I want to be totally honest with you and tell you that this sucks! I know I have absolutely no idea of how much this sucks, but I know that it does. It blows actually. I am using terms that I hate. Terms that if my children used I would tell them that they are being lazy and not using language properly. I would tell them that they need to use their brains and come up with something more creative to say. But I have thought about this and these are great terms for this cancer.

I want you to know that I love you. I do. I don't even know you that well. We have not spent very much time together. But I know I love you. You inspire me. And not this sucking, blowing cancer fight either. You inspire me to be a creative and better person. You did this before the cancer, I just never would have actually told you.

To hear my mother-in-law, you are the perfect mom, homemaker and volunteer. I was so terrified the first time you came to my house to visit!!! I had heard for years about your beautiful home, the beautiful kitchen you designed. I had seen the lovely hand-made cards and gifts you sent. I thought, "Great, Martha is coming. I just want to run and hide." I knew that when you saw my mess of a house, you were going to be horrified. I just knew it. I was sure you lived in a perfect home.

And then you arrived and you were gracious and lovely, beautiful inside and out. I found out that you were funny and fun to be with. Your family was so easy to have around, the perfect guests. And instead of feeling like a lazy lump after the visit was over, I felt inspired to do some of the things we talked about. I started projects. I felt productive.

We had a great time visiting you guys this summer. When I got to actually see your mythic house I loved it. I loved it because it is perfectly Terryn. It is not perfect. It is artsy and fun. It is the kind of place you want to go to have tea, cookies (oh god, your famous cookies) and curl up on the couch and just talk. Your kitchen is the most cozy and wonderful place. I love the cats and dogs everywhere. The kids. The garden. The pond. It is so you. I saw what your secret is...You are just being yourself. That is why it is so comfortable and wonderful to be with you and be in your home. It is lovely and in my world perfect.

I did not have the best role model for mothering, so I go around mentally collecting certain things from people I know, that I think are doing the whole wife, mother thing well. I added you to this list a long time ago. I just wanted you to know.

You know this cancer sucks and blows. And it does. You will get through this. I know you will. I love you and I think of you more often than you know. Have some tea and think of me. Hope your day is going well.

With all my love,
Michelle